Leading without controlling

1 Peter 5:3 not lording it over those assigned to your care [do not be arrogant or overbearing], but be examples [of Christian living] to the flock [set a pattern of integrity for your congregation].

2 Corinthians 1:24 not that we rule [like dictators] over your faith, but rather we work with you for [the increase of] your joy

One definition of humility could be staying in one's lane and only giving advice that can be rejected or accepted. One definition of arrogance could be forcing oneself or over-reaching into a person's life.

In the American Church of the 70s, there was a movement called the shepherding movement that produced a lot of good fruit in people’s lives. It’s only down side was it over-emphasized submission to a spiritual authority. “Do this! Do that!” Complete order. Imagine someone all up in your bidness 24/7. Not that submission is bad, it’s just that an extreme of anything will turn sour. It was like having an in-law that comes in and bosses your marriage around. According to Christ, a leader is supposed to be lovingly serving, not domineering. That movement started with good intentions. The leaders wanted Christians to be serious.

However, this was an example of the kind of thinking in the movement a few years down the road “If God Almighty spoke to me, and I knew for a certainty that it was God speaking, and if my shepherd told me to do the opposite, I would obey my shepherd.” They wouldn’t test what their leaders were saying like Bereans. Their leaders couldn’t be wrong. There’s a good side to submission though…

Hebrews 13:17 Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.

If Israel had listened and did what Moses said after testing that it was really from God, they would be so blessed. The trouble comes in when people stop testing whether something is from God and stop deciding for themselves. Moses also wasn’t forcing himself onto their lives. He didn't go into their lives to make sure they were doing what God said. In that case, they may just obey to please Moses, not God. Personally, I’ve been fortunate enough to only have good pastors in the 2 Churches I attended in the past.

I think the excessive honour is why Jesus said…

Matthew 23:8-12 But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth your father, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

I believe we can call people teacher this or father that (because Jesus left the Bible to say that Paul was called an apostle to the Gentiles while Peter, James and John were called apostles to the Jews) but in calling them that, we shouldn’t assign absolute authority or ‘correctness’ to them as we say that (like the Jews probably did with the Pharisees) because according to Ephesians 4:11, Jesus Himself was the one that gave apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers but He didn’t give them so they would be seen as perfect, all knowing vessels. Jesus is the only Teacher through His teachers, if the teacher departs from the Teacher, they are not teachers. God is the only Father; if the father departs from the Father, they are not fathers. You are the judge of that by the Holy Spirit. That’s difficult because most times we just don’t want the responsibility so we put people on pedestals. That’s what the reformer Martin Luther was fighting (among other things) – the infallibility of the pope.

“A simple layman armed with Scripture is to be believed above a pope or a council without it. As for the pope’s decretal on indulgences I say neither the Church nor the pope can establish articles of faith. These must come from Scripture.” – Martin Luther

This is what John said when there were so many false prophets and teachers around in those days…

1 John 2:26-27 I have written these things to you about those who are trying to deceive you. And you, the anointing that you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. But just as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things and is true and is no lie, and just as it has taught you, you shall abide in Him.

The anointing (Holy Spirit) is the teacher. That anointing moves amongst those 5-fold giftings and in the people being taught. If there are only false teachers in your country (like an anti-Christian nation perhaps), John says you don’t need a teacher. If you’re truly hungry, God will move Heaven and Earth to teach you. It’s nice for us these days because we have the internet, but back then… nothing.

Back to the point… there’s an excitement over a gifted person that is normal in the beginning because even Paul said this about the Galatians…

Galatians 4:14-16 And although my illness was a trial to you, you did not despise or reject me. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God, as if I were Christ Jesus Himself. What then has become of your blessing? For I can testify that, if it were possible, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me. Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?

If that excitement continues and grows… there’s something wrong. Paul and Barnabas could tell when honour was turning into worship and were quick to stop it. For example, when the Lycaonian people began fixating on them and offering sacrifices to them…

Acts 14:13-15 The priest of Zeus, whose temple was at the entrance of the city, brought bulls and garlands to the city gates, and wanted to offer sacrifices with the crowds. But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard about it, they tore their robes and rushed out into the crowd, shouting, “Men, why are you doing these things? We too are only men of the same nature as you…”

The shepherding movement didn’t get to the level of Acts 14 but it was definitely getting out of hand, to the point that one of its leaders Derek Prince who went on to be one of the most amazing servants of God of the 20th century had to leave after he felt uneasy about the whole thing for a long time. He said "we were guilty of the Galatian error: having begun in the Spirit, we quickly degenerated into the flesh." They really did start it with good intentions though. Here’s the video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsLRW49hCx0

When Paul was moving in great revelation and giftings of the spirit beyond anything people had ever seen, Jesus had to step in. Paul prayed, fasted and read the Word. Paul didn’t do anything wrong but Jesus still had to step in because the power was so great.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Because of the surpassing greatness and extraordinary nature of the revelations [which I received from God], for this reason, to keep me from thinking of myself as important, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment and harass me--to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might leave me; but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough--always available--regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. So I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, and with difficulties, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak [in human strength], then I am strong [truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God’s strength].

He mentions there that the 'thorn in the flesh' was persecution. Everywhere Paul went, people would beat and stone him. It made him look so weak in the sight of the Churches he planted. It caused them to disrespect him and move towards other things. So for their sake, in many of his letters we find him “boasting like a fool” (2 Cor. 11:16). That’s what he called it.

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“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” – Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu was an interesting man. He embraced freedom or what some people may call chaos. Letting people choose what they want. Letting people be the leaders of their lives after they had listened to counsel from him. Those that chose right were blessed and would go on to say “We did it ourselves.” But it was really him that did 60% of the work. Like a parent and a kid. It was a very self-sacrificial way to live.

In Eden, God gave Adam and Eve a command then left them so they could choose (but He already knew what they/we would do so before He made us, He offered His Son as a sacrifice... foreknowledge is a very interesting thing). If He wanted control, He would've made robots. He wanted true love. However, the consequence of disobedience is separation from Him. Like how we have prison for outrageous acts in society like high level corruption.

2 Chronicles 32:31 However, regarding the ambassadors of the princes of Babylon, whom they sent to him [Hezekiah] to inquire about the wonder that was done in the land, God withdrew from him, in order to test him, that He might know all that was in his heart.

I try to depart from a person and mind my business after i've given advice. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's easy. It depends on the depth of the relationship. Then I continue to hack at the logs in my own eye.

Anyway, the comparison I’m trying to bring out is the totalitarianism of North Korea where no one can breathe vs the wild west of early USA where outlaws run riot. Both are extremes.

I believe control stems from two roots. Love, obsession with excellence or an inordinate desire for power (control of resources in order to have the biggest piece of the pie). A person could love you so much that they take the wheel while you're driving. A business owner could turn their workers into drones because they want 100% productivity. A leader could turn into a dictator to make sure they have the best of everything.

Chaos (freedom) is where true creativity happens. Order and structure is where the created thing is produced in large amounts.

So I think both are needed.

Lao Tzu was a philosopher of freedom (actually more of balance) while Confucius was a philosopher of structure and tradition.

The unpredictability of the wind vs the steadfastness of the Earth.

The heart vs the brain.

I believe China chose to mainly base their entire society on the teachings of Confucius, so it's very ordered and traditional which is nice. So unlike the very free USA (I'm probably biased because USA's founders were fellow zealots) they haven't really invented.

Order gets the job done. Freedom creates 2 jobs that no one knows how to do.

On a smaller scale, this could apply to how you run your business, lead your family or even how you carry yourself.

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Off the back of that, since we’re talking about control, I’ve been thinking about free will and predestination (deep thinking is what I do for fun lol… and fifa 21, I don’t think I’ll get 22, it’s basically been the same thing since like 19 other than a few features).

We can say that every being that was made in God’s image has a dual nature. I think that includes angels because in Job chapter 1 they are called “sons of God”. So only animals and plants were not made in His image and it seems that it is only the beings that are made in His image that have a chance of going to Hell.

Romans 8:29-30 For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

According to that scripture, God didn’t predestine anyone’s decisions, He only predestined the “school” to which those who made the right decisions would go to. Most times it’s those that have made so many wrong decisions in their life that are so dedicated to the light. Like Mary Magdalene. That’s the paradox. Someone that has never known the depths of darkness could be passive but there are many exceptions like Mary the mother of Jesus that practically chose good all her life. Their name means beloved and bitter. A duality of experience. They both experienced deep pain beyond words at the foot of the cross when all that they had (Jesus) was dying, but joy beyond words when they went on to share in His glory.

Luke 2:35 {Simeon said to Mary} a sword [of deep sorrow] will pierce through your own soul – so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

Romans 9:14-18 What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Certainly not! For He says to Moses: “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” So then, it does not depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display My power in you, and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Therefore God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy, and He hardens whom He wants to harden.

He also predestines a purpose for those that choose wrong. Even Satan has a purpose like Pharaoh did. Satan has to try and test the elect of God until they are conformed to Jesus’ image. God is so powerful. It’s scary. Who is this God that I think I know? Who is this God I sometimes dislike with a passion in times of trial lol… When the pain is too real. Like this little guy...

It’s like everyone is serving His purpose. Some knowingly and some unknowingly. Judas was chosen to betray Jesus. God knew Judas didn’t believe in Him (John 6:64). All things work out for good for some, but for others even their wins are losses because they don’t know love.

Then I ask Him in humility “Having foreknown some would choose evil, why did you still create them?” But that knowledge is too far for me so I continue to trust Him. It is impossible to please Him without trust. Trust can only exist in partial ignorance. First He shows you a little (enough for you to be wowed and wooed) then asks you to trust Him with the rest as He reveals it here a little, there a little. I’m believing that in the end it will all make sense. I still wonder what Their plan is.

Here’s a cool thing I read recently…

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”